Its your turn to pick the next Christmas movie, but you hate the awful cheesy genre and need a plausible excuse to pick a film that technically has some jingle bells in it, but isnt all about the holiday season.
Well, look no further. That movie is Mean Girls and you are going to try to make it happen the same way Gretchen Weiner tried (but failed) to make fetch happen.
Sitting through endless re-runs of a Christmas Prince (one and two!), Love Actually and Elf may feel like a barf-fest if you are actually the human-grinch.
And, no, suggesting we all watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas is a terrible suggestion because – spoiler alert – Jim Carreys character was finessed by the singing of Whovilles residents and literally grew a heart three sizes up and began delivering presents.
That is not the aim here.
The aim is to trick your loved ones into watching a movie that has Christmas in it but is not too Christmassy at all. But when they start giving you a side eye during the 30-minute mark you can shrug and say but they are wearing Santa-girl outfits. Cant you see!?
Mean Girls, released in 2004, sees Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) attempt to navigate her way through high school after 12 years of being homeschooled.
Cady starts off as a bit of a misfit and is convinced by two new mates to plan an act of revenge against Regina, for a past slight, by pretending to befriend the popular girls, The Plastics. And guess what? Christmas happens somewhere during this messy academic year.
In short, its a heist and a scam. Kind of like the hustle needed to get your family to let you watch your favourite movie for the millionth time…
When Damien burst through a classroom door to hand out candy canes to his classmates – You go Glen Coco – wave at the screen hysterically as a means to prove your point and when The Plastics dance to Jingle Bell Rock at the Winter Talent Show get up and join in with the choreography for good measure.
If your brother tries to argue that Home Alone 2 is more suitable – seriously how many times can Kevin get lost? And why have his parents not been arrested for child neglect yet? – let him know that there is nothing more festive than a cake filled with rainbows and smiles.
If your second cousin begins tutting because the movie starts at the start of the school year – September, obviously – let them know that Mean Girls was ahead of its time and consciously decided not to discriminate other seasons.
That argument will hold with your family for maybe 10 more minutes, so stay more alert than Aaron Samuels who had no idea Regina George was cheating on him with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium.
Things may possible getting tense now, and you can see your mum reaching for the Netflix or Chromecast remote. But have no fear because this is the part where you inform everyone of the fact that the official soundtrack has listed Christmas as (one of) the official genres.
You dont have to tell them that rap and punk rock are also genres on the album – save that fun fact for New Years Day.
And now the movie is over and your loved ones are trying to figure out if you are a cold, shiny, hard member of The Plastics for lying to them about Mean Girls being a Christmas movie, but you got what you wanted so…grool.
(Grool = an accidental union of great and cool coined by the great Cady when trying to flirt for the first time).
Merry Christmas and ho, ho, ho.
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